


Frank Iero is totally in this week's National Enquirer

by mistresscurvy



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: M/M, Mpreg, Not!Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-08
Updated: 2011-11-08
Packaged: 2017-10-25 20:46:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/274611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mistresscurvy/pseuds/mistresscurvy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes a girl just needs to write some alien!Gerard mpreg not!fic, okay?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Frank Iero is totally in this week's National Enquirer

**Author's Note:**

> Contains: mpreg, crying, ABSURDITY
> 
> Thank you to LittleMousling for being amazing, as always.

Frank’s boyfriend has always been absurdly hot, but in the last month or so it’s just gotten ridiculous. There was that terrible phase with the long blond hair but then suddenly he showed up at home and it was BRIGHT RED and amazingly that made a huge difference. And that combined with all of Gerard’s passion about the album and creating ART and everything else means that Frank spends a whole lot of time on his knees with Gerard’s cock up his ass. Or on his back while Gerard pounds him into their mattress. Or straddling Gerard’s body and working himself up and down on Gerard’s dick, sweat running down his torso as he strokes himself off.

It was a really great fall and winter and spring after that album dropped, for real.

And it's not like Frank ever spent a lot of time fucking Gerard in the first place but now it's like Gerard won't even let Frank get NEAR his ass with his dick, which Frank might be more cranky about except OH MY GOD Gerard is just INSATIABLE, taking him in venue bathrooms and the bus lounge at five o'clock in the morning and once almost in front of RAY in the Jimmy Fallon green room--he got out just before Gerard shoved down Frank's pants and took him over the couch.

Jimmy was very gracious about the cleaning service they sent over the next day in apology.

So all in all Frank's pretty cool with not getting to fuck Gerard, especially since if Gerard's cock isn't up his ass it's because he's on his knees sucking Frank's dick, letting him deep throat him with two or three fingers in Frank's ass. It's a pretty acceptable trade-off.

The only bad part about Frank's life, in fact, is that midway through the HCT his fucking stomach starts acting up again. He's hungry all the time but can barely make himself eat, because half the time he ends up puking and the other half he gets wicked bad indigestion and heartburn, and he'd rather be hungry on stage than feel like that.

Gerard is ridiculously attentive, buying all the ginger and soup and crackers he can while Frank struggles through this, and he’s TRYING to not be upset but why does his body always betray him like this ;_____; HE HATES IT. And he says this to Gerard after a REALLY bad day when he couldn’t keep ANYTHING down and he maybe CRIES some TEARS OF FRUSTRATION and Gerard just like pets all over him and kisses his entire body head to toe and then fucks him so slow, murmuring in Frank’s ear the whole time about how much he loves Frank and his body and how he’ll make him forget ALL THE PAIN and the thing is that Frank’s body just like RESPONDS to Gerard’s and he TOTALLY DOES forget the pain when he comes because oh my GOD best orgasm EVER. But then he wakes up the next morning all nauseous as fuck AGAIN.

All of this is bad enough but then Frank starts to get all BLOATED and he cannot even fucking DEAL with how fucked up his body is, WHAT IS GOING ON, and his pants start to fit weird and he has to wear them EVEN LOWER than normal and so he throws on an additional layer or two over the five he already wears, because he feels so SELF-CONSCIOUS, and he’s still going nuts on stage but he’s starting to think he needs to see a doctor or something because this is getting a little too much :( he refuses to let his stupid weak immune system mess up another tour cycle :(

Mikey’s starting to look at him weird and Ray’s hair is getting concerned and Gerard can’t keep his hands off Frank, both to soothe him and and rub his back and give him head massages but also they’re still having sex like five times a day because it’s basically the only thing that can DISTRACT Frank from the fact that his body is making him CRY. But one day in their dressing room he’s changing into his tour outfit and he catches Mikey looking at his swollen stomach and he HUNCHES OVER because he’s so fucking embarrassed, and THEN Mikey is like GERARD WHAT DID YOU DO. And Gerard is like I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING, I’m the one whose hair turned red! And Mikey is like ...you are a moron.

Frank is all guys this conversation is pretty weird, even for you two, and Mikey turns to him and is like Gerard knocked you up and Frank is like WHAT and Gerard is like wait no I thought that it would be ME who could get pregnant and I haven’t bottomed for MONTHS and Mikey is like THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULD HAVE PAID ATTENTION IN ALIEN SEX ED. When your hair turns red it means YOU’RE THE IMPREGNATOR.

And Frank is like what the actual fuck, you fucker and Gerard is REALLY SORRY although also kind of not because MAKING A BB WITH FRANK OH MY GOD and Frank is like yes, that part I'm down for, BUT I DID NOT SIGN ON FOR ASS BABIES and also YOU’RE ALIENS? And Mikey is like :| it's not like any of us are THRILLED with the ass baby part of it, Frank, but that's what happens when you fall in love with someone from the Milky Way and Frank is like ...oh my god NO you are shitting me and Mikey is like I am so not, that was my ORIGINAL name, but there was a fuck up during immigration. It's like the intergalatic Ellis Island. It's cool though I kind of like Mikeyway better.

And Frank is like HOLD UP WAIT A MINUTE so not only are you ALIENS but you're like the WAYS of the Milky Way? Are you guys ALIEN ROYALTY? And Gerard's all I DIDN'T WANT THAT TO CHANGE HOW YOU SAW ME, I'M JUST AN AVERAGE DUDE, and Frank's like lol, first of all, YOU WOULD NEVER BE AN AVERAGE DUDE, GERARD, and second of all, I am actually more concerned with how pregnancy is going to impact me and my body. And the tour.

And Gerard's like oh.

Luckily for all of them they have RAY MOTHERFUCKING TORO who just like cuts through the soap opera melodrama and is like OKAY. We’ve got a couple of months left of tour. Mikey, since you actually seemed to listen to the alien conversation about how babies are made, is it SAFE for Frank to finish? And Mikey’s like he should be fine! And Ray’s like WELL THEN. I propose we get through the tour and then ~DISAPPEAR to WRITE OUR NEXT ALBUM and Frank can have the baby in whatever miraculous way it will happen THAT I DON’T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT and then we can announce your successful ADOPTION of a child together. Because the LAST thing the reputation of this band needs is a miracle baby.

And they BREAK their huddle and go out and play the show and then afterwards Gerard is all I’M REALLY SORRY I ACCIDENTALLY GOT YOU PREGNANT WITH AN ALIEN ASS BABY FRANK and he’s like it’s cool, Gee. But the next time your hair spontaneously turns red, WE ARE USING CONDOMS.

THE END.


End file.
